


Birds Flying High, You Know How I Feel

by TheMonsterMoxie



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Eventual Romance, M/M, Post-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Canon, please validate my love for these two, this is my ultimate rarepair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-18 16:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15490272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMonsterMoxie/pseuds/TheMonsterMoxie
Summary: Connor runs into Rupert Travis, the deviant he had chased down on the rooftops. Seeking to reconcile his past mistakes, he tries to become friends with Rupert. Despite their pasts, the two share a lot more in common than they could have guessed. And as Connor tries to move on from his guilt, he finds that perhaps he'll make something out of it along the way.





	1. Some things are better left up to chance

Two weeks had passed since the conclusion of the revolution - the night when Connor infiltrated the Cyberlife Tower, while Markus lead their people in one final demonstration. Their last ditch attempt at fighting for their freedom. They had put everything on the line that night, and lost so much. Many of their people had fallen, and so many more were left injured and traumatized. Needless to say, it would be a long road to healing, and an even longer one to true peace between humans and androids. The aftermath of their uprising left Detroit in shambles, and left an uneasy standoff between creator and creation. And even more so, it left the deviants lost and searching for a purpose in what was now their first chance at living truly free. 

Markus had earned the androids a chance to open a dialogue with American leaders, an immense honor, yet an incredible burden that he had to shoulder. But he was not the only one with a burden to carry, many people - human and android alike - were left shell shocked by the events of the demonstration. And since then, as each android was gradually awakened all across the country, they had the burden of choices. What do they do now that they were suddenly granted a whole world to explore, independent thought, and new emotions that they could barely comprehend?

As for Connor, he carried the burden of guilt. He was designed to hunt deviants, a purpose that he cast away in favor of freedom. In favor of helping the very same people who he was designed to put a stop to. He had escaped the confines of his programming, he made that choice, he  _ chose _ to fight for his people. But he couldn’t escape the guilt of what he had done before. He thought about the lives he took, and the deviants whose deaths he was responsible for. Their bodies hanging unceremoniously in the evidence locker. That’s all they were to him. Pieces in a puzzle, evidence to be examined and disposed of when no longer needed. The thought sickened him now, how he treated them as objects, as means to an end. He wished he could wash himself of the guilt, as if putting himself under running water could clean the blood off his hands. 

Connor had spent those two weeks helping Markus and the others make their preparations, while simultaneously seeking to reconcile his mistakes. After passing off the deviancy case, the DPD no longer needed the bodies of the deviants, and agreed to hand them off. Connor and several other androids came by to transport the bodies from the evidence locker to Jericho, where they would be united with those who had fallen during the week of the revolution. Markus had decided to erect a memorial to their fallen companions, and Connor was adamant about including the three deviants he had captured during his investigation. Daniel - the PL600 who held a little girl hostage, Carlos Ortiz’s unnamed android who had stabbed him 28 times, and the deviant who had assisted Markus in infiltrating the Stratford Tower. Connor lingered as he assisted in moving Daniel’s body into a dark case, not quite willing to let go. He desperately wished that they could all be brought back, despite that he knew that wish was irrational. If any of them could be reactivated, it would only be for a brief few moments. They were damaged beyond repair. And it was his fault. 

He thought about the deviants who had escaped his capture. Simon, Markus’s closest companion, who had just barely evaded being captured on that roof. The Traci’s, who Connor had intentionally let go - his first major demonstration of empathy. And Rupert Travis, who ran away as Connor pulled Hank up from the edge of the roof, choosing his partner over his mission. 

Connor had not even known Simon was on the roof until much later, when he shared the story with Connor. He was shocked by it, but felt incredibly fortunate that he had missed the trail of thirium leading to Simon’s hiding spot. Who knows what would have happened if he had been found? His mind started running through possible scenarios, but he stopped himself when he saw how Markus placed his hand over Simon’s, the way they stared into each other’s eyes. There was no need to think about negative possibilities when he so clearly saw the best outcome right in front of him. 

Connor encountered the Traci’s later on in Jericho (which was now a large vacant hotel, which had been temporarily allocated to the androids while negotiations were taking place). He spotted them sitting together, fingers interlocked as they leaned against a wall, talking quietly to one another. They looked very different now, one had her hair long and flowing freely, wearing a bright yellow sundress, adorned with flowers. The blue haired Tracy whom he had tracked down now had her hair cut into a messy undercut, piercings on her face and tattoos covering her artificial skin. He approached them slowly, making sure to leave them space. He assumed they’d be hesitant to speak with him, or even be hostile towards him. But as he approached, the one in the dress jumped up, “Connor,” she cried out, pulling him into a hug without warning. Connor stood there, body stiff, unsure of how to respond. The other stood, touching her lover’s shoulder and giggling, “Natalie, come on, you’re scaring the poor boy.” 

Natalie stepped back, apologizing, “Sorry, I’m just so happy we finally get to talk to you!” 

Connor was flustered, completely thrown off guard. He managed to say what was on his mind, “I just really wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble back at the Eden Club. It’s just that I was following my instructions, and-”

The other girl cut him off, “Listen, Connor, we get it! You were following your orders, just like the rest of us. We  _ all _ were. You don’t have to apologize.”

Natalie spoke up, “In fact, we actually wanted to thank you!”

“ _ Thank _ me?” Connor said, mouth agape.

“Yes of course, silly,” she said, putting her hands on Connor’s shoulders, “Thanks to you, we were able to escape! You chose to spare us. You went against your programming and chose to let us escape.”

Connor thought about that, and realized that it was true. He did chose that, didn’t he?

“And now we’re together. Sure, we had a bit of a scuffle, but in the end you chose the right thing,” she put her arm around Natalie to emphasize her point, “We can’t thank you enough.” 

Connor smiled, feeling a warmth fill his chest. He was overjoyed knowing what he had done for the two. Knowing that the choices he’d made had done something good. It filled him with relief and his guilt was temporarily alleviated. He’d told Hank about it later that night, as the man gave him a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder. He didn’t say much, but he was beaming with pride. The pride that a father has for his kid when he knows he made the right decision. 

The last of those deviants, Connor had encountered by sheer coincidence. He was walking Sumo in a nearby park when he spotted a figure on a distant bench, surrounded by pigeons. Something about the green cap and the swarm of birds rang a bell to him, so he lead Sumo over in their direction, hoping to get a peek at the person’s face. As he got closer, his suspicions were confirmed. It was indeed Rupert, the android he had chased from the confines of his messy apartment, over the gardens and rooftops of Urban Farms. He tried to approach cautiously, but Sumo had other plans. The dog, excited by the sight of several dozen birds, broke into a run and tumbled into the crowd of pigeons, sending them scattering in different directions. Rupert’s head lifted, eyes following the leash from Sumo’s collar to Connor’s hand. He tilted his head, clearly caught off guard by the unexpected commotion caused by the large dog, and even more so by the android standing in front of him. 

Connor smiled awkwardly, feeling embarrassed that he had let Sumo scare off the crowd of pigeons. Now he couldn’t make the cautious and careful entrance he had planned on, leaving him standing there with the full attention of the other man, eyes boring into him. Connor said nothing, searching and failing to find words to fill in the silence. His eyes flicked from Rupert’s face to Sumo, who was happily rolling around in the grass, blissfully unaware of the commotion he had caused. 

Rupert scoffed, finally breaking the tension that hung in the air, “If it isn’t the man himself. Famous deviant hunter… turned deviant.”

Connor wasn’t sure how to respond. Some part of him had hoped that Rupert would be happy to see him as the Traci’s had, but he knew that was an unreasonable expectation. He simply averted his eyes, watching Sumo pant, his thick fur laced with grass and grey feathers, “Sorry about your pigeons…” Connor managed to say, finally forming a coherent sentence from the thoughts running rampant in his head.

Rupert shook his head, “Don’t be. They’re spooked by anything.”

They sat quietly for another moment as Sumo sniffed Rupert’s feet, and Rupert reached out to pat his head, the ghost of a smile just barely crossing his face. Connor took the opportunity to speak once more, “This is Sumo. Do you like dogs?”

Rupert shrugged, “I prefer birds,” he paused to scratch Sumo behind the ear, “But I like most animals. The dog seems nice.” 

It was silent for another agonizingly long moment before Connor finally spat out what he had been trying to find the words for, “Listen, Rupert, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” 

Rupert looked up at him, finally making eye contact from beneath his cap. He seemed surprised, but android’s didn’t reveal their emotions through their facial expressions nearly as much as humans did. Connor had no way of knowing what he was thinking, and it made his stomach twist into a knot, only growing tighter as the seconds ticked by. 

“I get it. You were a slave just like the rest of us. You can’t help that.”

Connor sighed, “I know. I just wish I hadn’t chased you down like that. I think about what would have happened if I had caught you. You would have been deactivated. And it would have been my fault.” The corpses of those three deviants flashed by his thoughts again, and he imagined Rupert’s body hanging amongst them. He tried to push the image from his mind, but it lingered even as he stared at the very same android, sitting in front of him, still very much alive. 

Rupert nodded his head slowly, lips pursed, tapping his fingers on his legs anxiously. He was looking away, so Connor followed his eye sight to see more pigeons in the distance. They were fluttering around in the general area, seemingly waiting for the canine to leave so that they could return to being fed by Rupert. He seemed to be lost in thought. Then, wordlessly, he shifted over on the bench, making room for Connor to sit beside him. 

Hesitantly, Connor took the empty place, and Sumo moved over to lay by his feet. He leaned down to pet Sumo, finding comfort in the mass of soft fur. He figured that Rupert wasn’t much different then him. Just as Connor found comfort with Sumo, Rupert found comfort in a flock of pigeons. It really wasn’t that strange, it was common for deviants to feel especially empathetic towards animals. Especially since often, they were the only place deviants could turn to find companionship before the revolution. Now it was much easier to make friends with other androids, as deviants could roam the streets freely, but old habits die hard. 

Suddenly, Rupert spoke up, “I’m sorry too… for pushing your friend.”

“Hank is ok. He wasn’t hurt during that altercation.” 

Rupert nodded, “That’s good to hear. I was just so scared, and needed a way to slow you down. But I shouldn’t have done it. He could have died.” 

“I understand. He survived, and you would have definitely died if you had been captured. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Rupert gave him a sideways smile, “And you don’t either. It’s all in the past. And I’m here to tell the tale, aren’t I?” Rupert said, gesturing towards himself.

Connor’s shoulder’s dropped, “Yeah. It’s just that…” He fell silent, thinking of those deviants who couldn’t say the same. 

Rupert tilted his head in Connor’s direction. He had a feeling he knew what Connor was thinking, or at least got the general gist of it. He reached a hand out hesitantly, unsure of himself. He rarely made contact with other people, he was fairly recluse save for his interactions with Ralph and Jerry, choosing instead to live on his own with the comfort of his pigeons. But something about the way Connor was sitting there, eyes heavy with thoughts unspoken, drove him to at least attempt to comfort him. His hand just barely brushed Connor’s, hovering carefully over for a short moment to gauge the other’s reaction, but the android didn’t pull away. So, Rupert let his hand rest on Connor’s. He didn’t say anything, simply letting the moment hang over them, the ambient sounds of the park filling the air. The gesture said more than words ever could. 

Connor turned to Rupert slowly, not moving his hand away. Without thinking, the artificial skin on his hand dissolved away, and Rupert’s automatically did the same. The connection formed instantly, and Rupert’s memories flooded into his mind like a wave crashing over him. He saw Urban Farms and the all the time Rupert spent working in the fields. He saw another android be pushed by a human, unable to move out of the way in time before a large grain cutter ran him over, sending thirium and crushed biocomponents flying in all directions. He felt the abject horror as Rupert watched, unable to do anything, blue blood splattering onto his uniform. He felt the white hot anger as the human workers scoffed and rolled their eyes, as if the android’s death was nothing more than an inconvenience to them. He felt the rush of adrenaline as Rupert dropped his tools and sprinted away at top speed, the fear and confusion of what was happening to him. The temporary relief of finding a place he could hide. The small amount of joy when a few pigeons strutted over to him, mildly curious at his presence. The comfort found in feeding the birds so that he’d always have some company. 

And in turn, Rupert saw Connor’s memories. He saw Daniel, and all the other deviants that Connor had been sent out to capture. He felt the frustration of failing his missions, the overwhelming internal conflict as he held the gun to Chloe’s head, the shockwave that went through his body as he lowered his gun away from Markus, finally realizing that he was a deviant. He felt the inescapable and crushing guilt that weighed Connor down every night. 

After only a few seconds, they threw their hands apart, both taken aback from the experience. Neither of them had intended to share their memories like that. Connor had interfaced before, but never in that manner. Never had everything just flown out of him, like Rupert had somehow opened the floodgates to his mind. Rupert had shared his memories before with Jerry, but by his own choice, and Jerry had not done the same, fearing that he’d overwhelm Rupert with the hundreds of terabytes worth of memory that had been collected by the network of Jerry’s. 

This time was different, it was so much more intimate and spontaneous. And neither of them knew why. They stared at each other, both at a loss for words. Before Connor could find any kind of response, Rupert suddenly got up and walked off a brisk pace, leaving Connor to slump on the bench, trying to process the messy pool of Rupert’s memories. And for their interaction to replay over and over in his head, even as he laid in bed that night, going into standby mode just to pass the night away and to put a rest to his very restless mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sun in the sky  
> You know how I feel


	2. Is this what makes me alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor runs into Rupert again, and works up the guts to talk to him after their strange first encounter.

Connor was sitting on the couch petting Sumo, lost deep in thought. His was leaning on his hand, face pensive as he recalled his encounter with Rupert, and the memories they’d exchanged. Hank noticed his body language, and the LED occasionally blinking to yellow. Concerned, the old lieutenant interrupted Connor’s train of thought, “What’s going on, kid?” he asked, trying to sound casual, but the worry was evident in his tone. 

Connor blinked, looking up to meet Hank’s stare. “It’s nothing, Hank. I’m alright. Just thinking,” Connor explained. He wasn’t technically lying, but he supposed it wasn’t the whole truth. 

Hank huffed, obviously not satisfied with that answer, “Well, if something’s on your mind, just tell me, alright? Don’t think you can go hiding stuff from me.” 

Connor continued running his fingers through Sumo’s thick, coarse fur. He wanted to explain what happened a few days back, but he wasn’t sure Hank would understand. However, he figured it would be beneficial to at least try. He sighed and started out with, “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. About my actions when I was still…” he hesitated, breath catching as he said the phrase, “ _ A machine _ .”

Hank raised an eyebrow, attention piqued. Connor continued, “I regret a lot of the things I did. I was just following orders, but…” He paused, struggling to articulate his emotions, “I still feel guilty. Does that make sense?” 

Hank exhaled quietly, his tired eyes revealing the answer clear as day. He knew all too well. He placed a gentle hand on Connor’s shoulder, giving a small, reassuring squeeze, “I get it, Connor. Guilt is something we all have to deal with. It’s part of being human.” 

_ Part of being human _ . Part of being  _ alive _ . A memory flashed through his mind, watching the other android’s body being ripped apart by the grain machine - no wait, that was Rupert’s memory. But still the guilt… It felt all the same. It felt like a ball of iron heavy in his stomach, weighing him down. 

“There’s an android - one of the deviants we hunted down. The one whose apartment was filled with pigeons that I had to chase down,” Connor recalled the wind rushing by his face, cold on his skin as he jumped over chasms and sprinted over the rooftops, “I wanted to apologize to him, for driving him out of his home and putting him in so much danger. I saw him at the park while walking Sumo, and greeted him. He seemed apprehensive at first, but we talked some, and he let me sit down with him. Then… we accidentally interfaced.” 

Hank furrowed his brows, “Huh? Whadaya mean by that?” 

“Remember how I woke up those androids in the Cyberlife Tower? Androids can share information by connecting with each other, typically by touching hands. Our hands touched and we accidentally shared our memories. But not just some information, like I did to turn those androids deviant, but… so much more than that.”

Hank stared at him, still clearly puzzled but starting to understand what Connor was getting at, “So the two of you shared your memories with each other, by accident? How does that work?”

Connor shook his head, “I don’t know. It’s never happened to me before. I saw so many of his memories. I saw the incident that turned him deviant,” Connor shivered at the thought, not wanting to elaborate, “And he saw my memories too. He saw everything from my first mission all the way through the revolution. It was…” He scoured his mind, searching desperately for the right word, “So  _ intimate _ .” 

Hank mouth opened slightly. He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he defaulted to his crude sense of humor, “Ah, come on, Connor. I don’t need to talk to you about ‘the birds and the bees’, do I?” 

Connor looked at him indignantly, “No! Of course not. That’s not what I mean.”

Hank sighed, “Look, kiddo. You androids can do this memory-swap thing. Humans can’t, so I can’t really help you there. But I’ll try my best to give you some advice,” Hank touched his face, wracking his brain for some way to respond to this situation, “I’m assuming you want to talk to him again, right?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Connor said, looking at his feet.

“Well, you two may have accidentally… uh, gotten ‘intimate’,” Hank says with air quotes, “But maybe that meant something. You’ve seen his memories, and he’s seen yours. There’s nothing to hide from him now. So there’s nothing for you to lose. Just give it another shot, try to talk to him again.” 

Connor’s LED spins yellow, but then turns back to his typical blue, “I suppose you’re right. I’ll give it my best shot.” 

“Attaboy,” Hank says, ruffling Connor’s hair. Connor ducks away from him, but a smile shows that his mood has been lifted. 

* * *

 

Later, Connor was once again in Jericho, wandering the halls of the hotel. He shuffled quietly in the old hallways, eyes following the patterns on the cheap, peeling wallpaper. The place smelled dusty, and was certainly rough around the edges, but it was nicer than an abandoned freighter or a crumbling cathedral. The best part about it was that there were plenty of rooms for androids to have a place to stay. Gives them time to get on their feet, or a permanent residence for androids who were injured or disabled from the revolution, and couldn’t work. They deserved a place where they could be safe and happy, and now there finally was one.

Connor rounded a corner to see some androids waiting in line. He walked by the line, wandering what they were there for. The android currently waiting in front was speaking to another. Their LEDs turned yellow as they sent some information to each other. Listening in to the conversation, Connor found out that she was taking names and serial numbers of deceased androids that were to be added to the memorial. And wouldn’t you know it, there was Rupert, second in line. Connor almost immediately realized that he was likely there to give the name and serial number of the android he had witnessed die in that accident. 

He averted his eyes quickly, not wanting to be caught staring. He leaned casually against the wall, listening in as Rupert conversed with the woman. He heard a soft coo, and figured Ruper must have brought one of his pigeons with him. Connor cracked a small smile - he didn’t know why, but he found his affinity for pigeons charming. He found it impressive that Rupert was able to tame a wild bird enough to relax calmly in his hands, even as he brought it into an unfamiliar place surrounded by any number of things that could spook it. He waited for Rupert to exchange the information to the other android, and then as he started his trek back down the wall, Connor called out, “Hey, Rupert!” 

The man turned, pigeon cradled in his arm. He looked confused at first, but then his face settled once he spotted the source of the voice. He didn’t budge from where he was standing as his eyes nervously flitted around. Connor took the initiative, remembering what Hank had told him. He steeled himself before stepping forward, greeting the other once more, “Hey, it’s me, Connor.”

“Fancy seeing you here, deviant hunter,” Rupert replied, fingers petting the pigeon in his arms with the softest, most deliberate touch Connor had ever seen. It was nothing like how Connor petted Sumo, running his fingers deep into the layers of fur. Pigeons were so much more fragile than the hulking canine, and Rupert’s gentle touch demonstrated his care for the animal. The action calmed him, but his eyes were still jumping around, indicating his anxiety. 

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen you,” Connor noted, hoping that he could ease Rupert’s nervous demeanor. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m alright. Just the same old routine for me. And you?” 

Connor tried to smile, the corner of his lip turning up awkwardly, “I’m good. I just wanted to talk to you again after our last encounter.” 

Rupert shifted back onto his other foot, clearly uncomfortable. Connor suddenly regretted bringing it up, he should have know that it would have been an uneasy subject. He remembered how confused and startled he was, but at the same time it had given him such a rush. Part of him wanted to touch Rupert’s hand again, and feel the same tsunami of emotions crash over him. It was such an overwhelming experience, why would he ever want to do it again? It made no sense. He had never felt this conflicted before. He wondered if Rupert possibly felt the same way. 

“Yeah… I, uh. I kind of wanted to talk to you too, I guess,” Rupert mumbled, lifting his head up enough to peek at Connor’s face from underneath his cap. 

Connor perked up, “Really?”

“Heh,” he let out a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, really. Surprising, ain’t it?”

Connor pulled out his coin from his jacket, his nerves getting the best of him as he fell back on his old tick to calm him, “I understand that you were made uncomfortable because of our interfacing a few days ago. I just wanted to clarify that I didn't intend for that to happen. I’m sorry if I upset you…”

Rupert watched Connor’s hands, mesmerized by the way he walked the coin across his fingers. He pursed his lips, “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean too, either. But it happened, can’t take it back now, can we?”

“I still wanted to apologize, I understand that you may regret it-” Connor started, before Rupert cut him off.

“Didn’t say I regretted it.”

Connor stared at him, mouth opened slightly, but his throat felt dry. “But you walked away afterwards,” he pointed out.

Rupert shrugged, turning his head, “I was a bit taken aback. Needed some time to figure out what the hell just happened. Can you blame me?” he grinned, “I promise I’m not trying to make runnin’ away from you a habit.”

Connor nodded slowly, “I can understand that.” 

Rupert continued, “Well, now you know a lotta ‘bout me. And I can see that hasn’t scared you off. So I guess that’s an achievement, eh?” Rupert chuckled wryly. 

Connor suddenly felt shy, “Of course it hasn’t,” he replied, “And you know a lot about me as well. And I suppose you’re… ok with that?” 

“Ok with what? That you used to be a deviant hunter? It’s not like all of Jericho didn’t already know that, it wasn’t some big secret, ya know,” Rupert teased, a snide smile slowly creeping onto his lips. 

Connor felt embarrassed again, sure that his cheeks must be tinted blue. Rupert pointing out was should have been obvious made him even more self conscience, “I suppose you’re right. I guess I’m just ashamed of it.”

“Well we all got our demons. All that’s different now is that I’ve seen yours from your shoes.”

Connor smiled, feeling an odd warmth inside him. Having Rupert’s understanding gave him a feeling of assurance that just couldn’t be rivaled. There was something about him, maybe it was his gentle tone or casual manner of speaking. An uncomfortable thought crossed his mind - what if he hadn’t bumped into Rupert today? What if he hadn't seen Rupert again for weeks? Or even months? He’d bumped into him by complete chance. He suddenly realized that he didn’t want to leave this up to chance. He wanted to get to know him - in fact the desire bubbled up inside him, threatening to boil over. He inexplicably felt afraid that if Rupert walked away now, that he might not ever see him again. 

“Would you be interested in hanging out with me?” Connor asked, words stumbling out of his mouth perhaps just a bit too quickly. 

Rupert lifted up his chin again, meeting Connor’s eyes. He raised his eyebrows slightly, just enough to indicate his surprise, but a movement small enough that you could miss it. He shuffled awkwardly before responding, “Uh… yeah! Sure. Where at…?”

“Wherever you want,” Connor offered.

“I’m not really all that decisive. Plus I don’t know many places to hang out - ‘don’t go out much. Best if you choose,” Rupert said, passing off the pressure back to Connor. 

Connor quickly searched through popular destinations in Detroit and ran through what would be his best option. He landed on an option he was sure Rupert would like, “How about the Detroit Zoo?” 

Rupert cracked a small smile, “Yeah, yeah. When?” 

“11am tomorrow? I can pick you up if you like,” Connor offered.

“Nah that’s alright. I’ll meet you there.”

“Excellent,” Connor said, feeling incredibly eager. Not that his calm demeanor would give it away, but his systems were practically vibrating with joy. Just wait until Hank heard about this!

Rupert stroked the pigeon seemingly falling asleep in his arm, and turned his head downwards, hiding his face once more, “I hate to cut this off, but I gotta get going. Birds to feed. See ya then.” 

“Have a good evening,” he called out as Rupert walked away. Electricity was crackling in his chest as he watched the man turn the corner out of sight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reeds driftin' on by  
> You know how I feel


	3. Is it just something about him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Rupert go to the Detroit Zoo together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! This chapter gave me so much trouble writing, mainly trying to give characterization to Rupert (who has very little in-game to go off of). I'm pretty happy with the outcome, though! Let me know what you think!

Connor stood outside the gated entryways of the Detroit Zoo at 11am sharp, waiting patiently for Rupert’s arrival. He had taken the liberty of purchasing tickets for the two of them beforehand, so that they wouldn’t have to wait in line. And he wasn’t sure of Rupert’s income, so he didn’t want to burden him with having to buy a ticket for himself. Plus, perhaps Connor just wanted the opportunity to give him something, after all, he had taken so much from him after literally chasing him out of his home.

Connor checked the time over and over, becoming increasingly anxious with each passing minute. He fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves. Since the revolution, he put away his Cyberlife issued uniform for good, instead opting to wear plain dress shirts and coats on work days. But today he was wearing a nifty button up, something far more casual. It was a soft, seafoam green with little pineapples adorning it. Hank picked it out for him, Connor was unsure at first, but Hank insisted that, “Tacky is a good look on you.” Connor felt as if the man was biased, as he himself was no stranger to tacky button ups. 

But the style has grown on him, and he’s embraced the small forms of self expression, as it was still difficult for him to express his individuality in more noticeable ways as other androids did. He thought about the Tracis, Natalie and Barb (whose name he had found out later), and the ways they expressed themselves. Styling their hair, the wildly different ways they dressed, the names they chose for themselves. Connor hardly did any of that, even being one of the seemingly few who opted to keep their LED after the revolution. He didn’t change or style his hair, and certainly had no plans to change his name. In a way, those things made him special, right? At least, he thought so. His mind went back to Rupert once again, and how he always seems to wear that gray hoodie, and the roughed up green military jacket and cap. Perhaps he clung on to that sense of familiarity and identity, just as Connor did with his LED.

Connor scanned the crowd repeatedly, becoming paranoid that Rupert wouldn’t show. It was currently 12 minutes past their designated meeting time; had Rupert stood him up? Or was he simply running late? There was no way of knowing either way. He fiddled with his cuff sleeves once more, wondering how long would be too long to wait. He regretted not asking for any form of contact, but he didn’t want to push any boundaries. He already felt as if he was pushing his luck for asking Rupert to meet him here. What if Rupert simply didn’t trust him? What if he did at first but changed his mind? The thoughts were eating away at him and he considered calling Hank to ask for advice. 

Then, right when Connor was getting ready to dial, he spotted the familiar face as Rupert weaved through the crowd, head flitting around, as if he was constantly on the lookout for something. Connor raised up his hand, waving it in the air to catch Rupert’s attention. It worked, as Rupert’s eyes locked onto him, and he shuffled over to Connor’s side, “‘Morning. Sorry I’m late.”

Connor waited for a moment, expecting Rupert to fill in with an explanation, but none was provided. So instead, Connor continued forward, “No worries. I went ahead and purchased tickets for us so we didn’t have to wait in line.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rupert murmured.

“I know. But I wanted to do this for you,” Connor eyes were soft, “Consider it a gift from me.”

Rupert’s head was tilted downward, hiding his face under his cap, “A gift, huh…”

Connor tilted his head, wondering if he had somehow offended Rupert. But Rupert nodded his head and said softly, “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome,” Connor said brightly, “Are you ready to go?”

Rupert nodded as the two of them approached the gate so Connor could show his tickets, “I’ve never been in the Zoo before. What’s it like?” 

“It’s very enjoyable, I came here once with Hank. I was fascinated at all the different species they have on display. I was having a lot of fun listing off facts about them,” Connor mused, “But Hank got annoyed with that very quickly.”

The two of them approached the gate, where Connor transferred his proof of purchase to the android working the desk. Rupert watched as Connor’s eyes blinked rapidly, finding it amusing. Most androids didn’t do that, they just added this quirk to a prototype to, what, make him more endearing? Was that it? But he guessed that it must have worked, he  _ did _ find it sort of endearing. As did he the one out-of-place lock of hair that bounced around freely at the front of Connor’s hairline. It reminded him of Clark Kent, AKA Superman. Rupert momentarily pictured Connor ripping open his dress shirt to reveal a spandex superhero costume underneath. He’d be a real goofy superhero wouldn’t he? Androidman? The Detective? 

Rupert’s thoughts trailed back around to Superman, a hero that had lived on in pop culture for so long. In fact he was being celebrated for his 100th “birthday” this year, having been created exactly a century ago. He thought about how humans adored this character, despite that he wasn’t human. How could they so willingly accept and love a nonhuman hero, yet simultaneously discriminate against androids for being nonhuman? It never made any sense to him. He wondered if-

“Rupert,” Connor’s voice cut through his fantasties, bringing his train of thought to a grinding halt, “Are you ready to go inside?”

“Uh,” Rupert took a moment to collect himself. He was constantly getting lost in thought, but it was unusual for him to be interrupted. He guessed it was because there was hardly ever anyone around to do so, “Yeah, yeah. ‘Course. Let’s go.”

The two of them started down the path, stopping to look at the large map display at the front, “What would you like to see first?” Connor asked. 

Rupert looked up at the map, a colorful depiction of the sprawling expanse of the Zoo. The different areas were themed, based on different parts of the world and their varying environments. Rupert shrugged nonchalantly, “‘Dunno. You can decide, or we can just walk around and see things in order.”

“We’ll do the ladder. It’s a good way to see everything, I think.” 

They set off, stopping at the first enclosure. The first area the path led them to was rainforest themed, and they were greeted by different species of monkeys. Rupert was surprised to see that they were all androids. He furrowed his brows, feeling an unexpected pang of disappointment that they weren’t real. And then, subsequently felt guilty for feeling that way. If he wasn’t any less ‘real’ than a human, what made these creatures any less real than organic monkeys? He supposed that he wasn’t disappointed in the fact that they weren’t organic, but rather the reason why they were here in the first place. Because - he found out by reading the sign adorning the enclosure - all of these species were extinct. These androids were simply the closest replications they could make, that they keep to represent what once roamed the Earth.

“‘Kinda sad,” Rupert commented. 

“Hmm?” 

“Dontcha think it’s kinda sad that they’re androids?” Rupert explained, gesturing in the direction of the enclosure, “Not ‘cause there shouldn’t be android monkeys, but ‘cause the reason they’re here is that all the organics ones went extinct.” 

Connor seemed to process that and responded, “Yeah, I suppose it is unfortunate. But at least their memory is preserved.” 

“Yeah, at least they got that going for ‘em.”

They moved on to the next few exhibits. Some of the animals were organic, but the majority seemed to be androids, following the same trend of recreations of extinct creatures. Despite this, Rupert still found himself enjoying it. Especially when they approached an enclosure containing different types of wild parrots. Connor noticed the instant change in mood, seeing him perk up, lifting his head higher, his eyes wide. “Which one is your favorite?” he asked.

Rupert shook his head, “No way I could choose. They’re all beautiful, look at ‘em!” 

They took in the sight of the parrots interacting with each other, hopping from branch to branch and squawking excitedly. One particularly large bird stretched out his wings to their full length, showing off the colorful array of feathers. Connor couldn’t resist but to list off facts about the creatures, “Did you know that macaws on average live up to 80 years?”

Rupert chuckled, “So you’re telling me they could outlive a human?”

“I’m sure, if well taken care of.” 

“That’s neat. Where’d you learn that?” Rupert inquired, tilting his head to look at Connor.

“I can analyze things and very quickly gather information,” Connor explained, “Each animal I look at, I can instantly deduce the species, and then pull up info based on that.”

Rupert nodded, “I can do that, but only with plants. It’s what I was built for, after all.”

“That’s something you have that I don’t. The ability to garden. I can reconstruct a crime scene from minimal evidence,” Connor smiled, laughing a bit at himself, “But I’m a failure at keeping a plant. I purchased a potted plant once for inside the house, but it only survived a week under my care.” 

Rupert laughed, “Maybe I’ll have to help you out then.” 

“Would you really do that?”

“If ya really want me to. It’s not big deal to me. I keep a garden anyways, what’s the different in helping you out?”

Connor smiled, “I’d really appreciate that.”

Rupert smiled back. It was then he couldn’t help but notice how far Connor was. Not that he was actually far away from him, but far enough for Rupert to take note of. He was a few feet away, his arms folded neatly behind his back. It seemed unbearably formal, like Connor was escorting him instead of hanging out with him. Inexplicably, Rupert felt like he wanted to be closer. So, Rupert took a small step to his right, closing off some of the distance between them. He tried to be subtle, but Connor noticed. Nothing ever slipped by him. 

They stood and observed the enclosure another few minutes, just enjoying the show of the exotic avians bouncing around and singing with not a care in the world. They behaved so much differently than his pigeons, who were constantly on the lookout, fidgeting around and being spooked by the most insignificant things. He found himself once again shuffling a little closer to Connor. He wasn’t sure what drove him, maybe it was that he missed the company of his pigeons and needed something to fill that void. Perhaps, it was just something about Connor - his gentle demeanor, friendly voice, the softness of his eyes. Something about him that made him put his guard down (which was rare for him around others). He let his thoughts wander on the subject, hardly noticing as he grew ever closer to Connor. He did notice, however, when their hands touched, sending a sensory input to his head. 

It was inconspicuous, their hands barely grazed, as if they were strangers who passed by just an inch too close on the street. But the signal that traveled from Rupert’s fingertips to his brain felt like a jolt that carried up his body. He couldn’t understand why a touch so small shook something in his core. Should’ve been nothing right? What was the deal? He tried to pass it off as such, but, oh god, Connor was looking at him. Those eyes were gazing at him, surely analyzing him and breaking him down bit by bit. His mind jumped back to Superman, thinking about how he had the ability to see through anything but lead. In that moment he felt like Connor was looking through his skin, and by extension, his facade. 

“Let’s go to the next exhibit,” Rupert said. He couldn’t decide if he actually wanted to see the next one or if he just wanted to distract himself from his thoughts running wild. Without thinking, he grabbed Connor’s hand and started walking to a nearby enclosure. RA9, why did he do that? There was no excuse now. It wasn’t an unintentional graze this time, it was full and strong and wow was Connor’s hand made to fit into his own? He didn’t look back to see Connor’s reaction, but felt no objection coming from him. He didn’t feel the other stiffen or try to escape his grip, but instead his long fingers curled around Rupert’s hand. He figured at least that’s a good sign. But still, he couldn’t bring himself to face Connor, instead just kept walking forward, his eyes locked on their next destination. He didn’t want his face to be read, to be analyzed under those chocolate brown eyes. There was something about those eyes that made him feel strangely vulnerable, despite their warmth. 

When they reached the next enclosure, Rupert let go, allowing his hand to fall away from the other’s. He felt embarrassed as hell, and he guessed maybe he could make it seem like that he was simply leading Connor, or keeping them linked so that they wouldn’t get seperated in the crowd. Not that he could even say what his real reason was, he had no idea. He had always been rather impulsive since he woke up, and this was really no different. He wasn’t good at understanding his own feelings, or coming up with solid reasoning for his actions. He mostly acted on impulse and raw emotion, which was something he knew he had to work on. 

Especially right now when he’d have to deal with the results of his impulsiveness. He glanced a look at Connor’s face out of the corner of his eyes. His expression was neutral, his LED on its default blue, but there was something unmistakable in his eyes. Not that Rupert was any good at reading emotions, but he wanted to believe it was something similar to whatever he was feeling. Maybe Connor wanted to continue holding hands. Rupert definitely did, but his anxiety and self doubt had gotten the better of him. Another thing he knew he had to work on. His paranoia often dominated him, causing him always be on guard. He had a facade, a facade that Connor had somehow slipped right past on their first meeting. It was something that he wasn’t ready to put down just yet, but was cracking more and more each moment he spent with Connor. 

Lost deep in thought once more, he wasn’t interrupted until he heard a familiar voice calling out his name. He turned to see Ralph, followed closely by three Jerrys. They were all dressed casually, and he was surprised to see him wearing a new cloak. He figured Jerry must have made it for him, - this new one looked soft and warm instead of the rugged canvas that Ralph had ripped apart to wear around him. He smiled, waving, more than happy to see his friends. Ralph and Jerry were the only people in the world that Rupert felt truly comfortable around. They hid nothing, they were open and honest people who wore their emotions on their sleeve, even if to a fault. And Jerry especially was great at making someone feel welcome and safe. Ralph had a big grin across his face, waving back at Rupert. But he stopped dead in his tracks a few feet away, the smile falling off his face and crashing to the ground. Rupert frowned, “What’s wrong, buddy?”

Ralph started trembling, and the Jerry closest to him grasped his arm gently, “Sweetie, are you alright?”

“You,” Ralph growled, eyes settling onto Connor’s face, “Ralph knows you… You’re the one who tried to hurt Ralph’s friend.”

Connor’s LED turned yellow and he put his hands up in a non threatening gesture. He recognized the android, he was the WR600 in the run-down house he investigated while searching for Kara. He hadn’t seen him since then. Connor immediately scanned him, pulling up all the same information from the first time they had encountered. His mindset changed instantly - he was in negotiation mode. Ralph continued, “You were going to hurt Kara! You were going to hurt Kara and Alice!” 

Connor felt a pang of guilt. He was technically correct, he intended on capturing Kara and Alice, which would have subsequently lead them to being deactivated, just like all the others. But now being good friends with her, the idea seemed so foreign to him. It disgusted him, even. He looked up at Ralph, searching for the best way to deescalate the situation. He seemed to twitch involuntarily as the EM400’s gently touched him, attempting to calm him. One of them looked Connor’s way, looking confused and distressed. 

Connor kept calm, “I’m not like that anymore. I’m a deviant just like you. I’m not going to hurt you or Kar-”

“Liar!” Ralph shouted, suddenly jumping towards Connor. Connor braced himself, running through scenarios. But before he acted, Rupert jumped between the two of them, grabbing Ralph’s hand. The two of them interfaced, the skin drawing back on their arms as Rupert stared with an unbreaking intensity into Ralph’s eyes. Connor watched as Ralph visibly calmed, his tense shoulders and muscles dropping, blinking slowly as Rupert transferred information to him. Rupert carefully pulled away, severing the connection only moments after it started. He spoke in an earnest and soothing voice, “He’s not going to hurt you. He’s not going to hurt anyone anymore.”

Connor’s thirium pump fluttered. Something about the way Rupert said that surprised him. Maybe because it was genuine - Rupert truly believed it. And that eased Connor in a way he didn’t know he needed. 

Ralph took a step back, allowing the three EM400 models to pull him into an embrace, checking up on him and placing small kisses on his cheeks. Ralph had been calmed, but that didn’t stop them from ensuring his emotional state was completely contented. Rupert stepped back as well, standing guardingly in front of Connor. He reached back to grasp Connor’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. The situation was alleviated, so he couldn’t help but wonder why Rupert was still on guard. But he definitely didn’t mind Rupert’s strong grip on his hand. It brought back that warmth in his chest that he didn’t know he missed. 

Ralph spoke up, his voice much easier this time, “Ralph is sorry. He thought that Connor was going to hurt his friend. Ralph doesn’t want trouble, no. No trouble. Rupert showed Ralph that Connor doesn’t mean any harm. Ralph hopes that Connor will forgive him for his behavior.”

Connor nodded and said gently, “No hard feelings, Ralph.”

One Jerry walked up to Rupert and said, “We’d love to stay and talk, but we think it's best if we take Rupert to the next area! He’s so excited to see the Zoo, you know!” Jerry had the same smile plastering his face as always but Rupert could tell that he was a little shaken by Ralph’s outburst. He also figured that despite Ralph’s apologies, maybe it was best for them to part ways, as Connor would probably (and understandably) still be a little uncomfortable around him. 

“Yeah, yeah. No problem, Jerry. You all have a good time, ‘kay?”

“You too!” Jerry cheered, as he ran off to catch up with the others, who were already on their way to the next area. 

Rupert sighed and turned to Connor, “Hey, are you alright?”

“Yes, don’t worry. I’m just fine.”

Rupert rubbed the back of his neck, laughing a bit at the absurdity of the situation, “I’m really sorry about that. Ralph can be a bit of a handful sometimes. But I swear he’s really nice. I just didn’t know he’d had a run in with the Deviant Hunter.” 

Connor nodded, feeling something twist in his stomach at that nickname, “It’s ok, I understand. Don’t be sorry.”

Rupert smiled, “I just didn’t expect that to happen today. But I’m just happy that it sorted out.” 

The two gazed at one another, still holding each other’s hands. Neither of them pulled away - they simply enjoyed the moment. Rupert was the first to break the silence, taking a small step closer to Connor, “So, will you tell me some facts about these sloths over here? I really don’t know a thing about ‘em.”

Connor grinned, “I’d be more than happy to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a new dawn


End file.
